I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
