i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
