i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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