Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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