His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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