Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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