I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
