we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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