Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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