Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
