Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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