ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Randomize
