I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
