she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there was a trapeze. enough said
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
