Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.

Fav 6 1190 3191
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(443): View more from Maryland

Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on

Fav 9 943 3773
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......

Fav 72 1244 5201
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(480): View more from Arizona

Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?

Fav 66 2210 3755
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(+52): View more from Mexico

that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.

Fav 10 4902 1724
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(518): View more from New York

and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis

Fav 13 3842 1471
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(410): View more from Maryland

You threw up with your ski mask on still.

Fav 8 802 2498
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.

Fav 2 92 36
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(512): View more from Texas

Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????

Fav 2 49 15
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