No stitches, just platelets and will power
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
