no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
