i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize