I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
