i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
