If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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