I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
