so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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