Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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