I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
