so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
