we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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