every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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