I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
