a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
honey bunches of taint.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
