I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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