Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
