did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize