great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
