Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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