if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
