Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
