omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
