I hate your face
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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