Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
