I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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