I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
