If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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