sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize