When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
