I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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