He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
