You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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