He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
