It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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