No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
