it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
