U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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