The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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