Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
