No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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