Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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