shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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