I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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