She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
