i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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