You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
