You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
