It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize