But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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