It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
