I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
two words...techno handjob
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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