the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wish i was in the wii world.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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